I get it, you are young and you are in love. You might want to experience sexual liberty by having sex with whoever you choose to have sex with or You want to be a savage like Riri said. I get it but is it worth it nah fam. Our culture is killing us, the music we listen to, the movies we watch and the friends we listen to. They depict sex in ways that normalise premarital sex almost making it an inevitable part of a love relationship.
Since the majority have subscribed to this flawed understanding of sex, often times you will find that you might be isolated removed from cool discussions only because you have chosen to wait and not have sex. Don’t lose heart, you are doing the right thing.
Don’t buy into the lie which tries to convince you that waiting to have sex in the right context is uncool or even unrealistic.
There is nothing unrealistic about having standards and setting boundaries in order to actualize your standards.
Sex encompasses so much more than the physical aspect of intimacy, it’s very spiritual ( no one ever emphasizes this point ). I don’t think there is anything wrong with having the natural inclination or the desire to want to have sex. From à Christian point of view we are constantly advised to abstain from sex until marriage and yet we deliberately choose to justify our actions as if God is ignorant and we are the wise guys. ( looooool) who do we think we are 😦 ! God is not ignorant we are ignorant, immature and very childlike in the way we think.
I used to think it wasn’t a big deal really; Christians are way too serious (yes I would say things like it’s really not that serious ) umm wrong! My reasoning was very childlike it goes like ” if I love you and you love me what’s the point of waiting we gon be together foreva we soul mates , you da one blah blah blah whatever lie you tell y’a self (looool) pls stop at least be honest and say “I don’t know how to stop rather than pretending celibacy is unrealistic only because you choose to be childish and fail to understand that boundaries are put in place to protect you.
Save yourself from the emotional roller coaster, confusion and really adhere to a restriction that is put in in place to protect you.
I know I know, sex is a natural part of life, we use it to procreate and some will argue that having sex is what makes them a man ummmm ok , wrong ! Having sex does not make you a man nor does it validate your manhood. Rather choosing to sacrifice sex until marriage because you have reached a certain level of maturity where you can equate sacrifice as a true measure of love makes you a man.
Self control makes you a man. Your ability not to always think about your own temporary satisfaction makes you a man. Your willingness to wait for something greater through the practice of celibacy makes you a man.
God is not ignorant, we are ignorant, I don’t think he would place boundaries around sex unless in his infinite wisdom he could fore see that sex outside of marriage would ultimately entangle us in soul ties and emotional roller coasters we weren’t necessarily ready for.
We fail to understand that just because we have access to something it’s not necessarily always Good. In relationships I guesse it’ harder to stop having sex once you’ve opened that door but God’s grace and mercy are sufficient and he can restore you and change your perception of sex.
If you decide to stop having sex based on your convictions I think that’s great. I think it’s equally important not to let your boyfriend/ girlfriend talk you out of it . If they claim to have tremendous love for you I don’t think it’s too difficult to understand that your belief system ultimately dictates your actions, behaviours and value system.
If they don’t understand your convictions as a Christian and they start making you feel guilty due to your refusal to having sex break up with them. They don’t really love you nor do they know what it means to love.
Let’s be honest and stop beating around the bush pretending that sex is just another form of expression as opposed to something that is really sacred and only viable within the context of marriage.
If you struggle with waiting and having discipline in sex, you ain’t the only one. I struggle just as much as the next person but I’ve internalized far deeply that premarital sex is not worth it. Pretending like I don’t know that it’s wrong just so I can maintain some sort of relationship based on a lie is not worth it.
Man forget the hype, however minutes your sexual experience lasts is it really worth you walking outside of God’s mandate for sex nah fam. Ask God to teach you how to change your perceptions around sex, to remove people from your life who fail to understand that boundaries are put in place to protect not restrict you.
Keep living in God’s promises, and remember that love without sacrifice is child’s play. It’s not worth it.